I can't NOT brush

I keep reading everywhere not to brush my hair but I can't not brush it. If I leave it it goes frizzy and clumpy and combs can't deal with the knots I get. What can I do?

I brush my hair before going to bed at night and when I wake-up before my shower. I also will brush lightly when hair is wet, but if I need to really detangle, I use a wide-tooth comb...it seems less like it's ripping hair out.

The only time I really cannot use a hairbrush is after my hair is styled...My hair gets so frizzy from the hairbrush. I don't care what my hair looks like before I go to bed...so I look like a troll doll.